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SOOO I just joined tinder a couple of days ago

Some observations I’ve had -

-most guys have pictures of them drinking cheap beer
-1/6 guy has an anchorman quote in his About Me section
-about half of the guys do not have individual pictures or close ups on their faces
-1/15 guys have a fake age (and they acknowledge it)
-the guys who warn me that there are “weirdos” on tinder are the most creepy of them all.
-about half the guys I’ve talked to have began the conversation calling me “cutie” or “darling” or something of that nature.

I feel like I should do a research project on tinder.

Is a utopia really a dystopia?

Today in class we were discussing social contracts and Rousseau and whatnot, and it led me down an interesting thought pathway. I’ve always enjoyed the idea of utopia - I’ve written papers in undergrad about utopia, my favorite genre of books have dystopian themes, hell the background on my computer is a piece of art called “utopia”.

But is utopia truly a good thing? When I idealize utopia, I picture a society with no problems whatsoever. There is no need for conflict. But, as I’m slowly learning in graduate school, conflict is a necessary aspect of life. It’ is part of human nature. And conflict can help further advance society. So how can an utopia exist without conflict? 

Thus, my definition of utopia must change. Utopian societies must have some degree conflict, but I have also learned throughout this semester that once conflict begins, no matter how small, it is incredibly difficult to stop it. Emotions run high, tensions escalate, and then parties spiral down a path of larger conflicts, sometimes to the point of violence.

So does a potential utopian society have conflict, with the potential of it spiraling out of control, or have no conflict, which goes against human nature? Now that I’m starting to really get a grasp of my program, I fear the idea of a utopia with no conflict - to me a society with no conflict is a society of drones with no individual thoughts or feelings. And, to me, this isn’t a utopia… this is a dystopia. To be completely homogeneous with every other member of society sounds dull and uninspiring and counter-evolutionary in some way. How can society advance if everyone agrees?

Thus, the conclusion I came to while I was not listening to my professor talk about Sri Lanka, is that a society, whether utopian or not, must have conflict. But how can society control conflict so that it doesn’t escalate? Should society control conflict? Or would preventing major conflicts be just as bad as having no conflicts at all?

I’ve always had a dream of writing a utopian/dystopian novel, and while I never had a solid plot or characters, this definitely throws a wrench into my plans, because now I can’t even describe what a utopia is. 

So since today was a snow day I have to take my midterm essay at home… Luckily it’s open note open book, and we have 4 hours to complete it. I’ve just reached hour 3, and I’m pretty much done, but I’m freaking out because I think I am missing key points but I don’t know what those points are and am I turning it in too early and what if I don’t do well and why did I decide to go to grad school again and what if I choose the wrong question to write about it and ughghghghgh

Needless to say I’m a little stressed out right now.

I had this crazy dream last night that I need to get outta my head because I can’t stop thinking about it…

So in this world there are two types of people - the ruling/wealthy/elite group and the poorer/weaker group. You’re born into a group, but it is in your genetics to just loathe the other side. Like, you don’t have a choice - you are programmed to just hate the other.

I was orphaned but I grew up on the wealthy side, where I was trained and became a knight whose purpose was to protect the prince. I was like a body guard for him, and everything was fine until one day I had this urge to kill him. I didn’t act on it, but this urge came out of nowhere. So then goes this downward spiral of me trying to understand where this urge comes from, and it ends up that I am originally from the poor/weaker group of people, yet I can’t make contact with them because it’s against the law, but the more I realize who I am the more I start to hate everyone around me. And I can’t tell anyone or else I might be imprisoned or something, but I’m just having this huge identity crisis and then I woke up.

Needless to say, I woke up extremely stressed out this morning and somewhat inspired to write a book? It’s weird. 

Today was the first day I felt content with where my life is. I didn’t realize how much of a slump I have been in lately… I have been so upset about this whole China fiasco that I let myself go. I’ve been unmotivated to do anything, and I have definitely paid the price. My paper that was supposed to be done months ago has been untouched, I’ve gained 10-15 pounds, I’m broke, and my whole life has been a disorganized mess.

But today was different. Today, I woke up and decided things were going to change. I spent most of the day cleaning/organizing my bedroom and doing laundry. I also found all my articles for my paper that have been lost in the mess, and not only did I flip through those, I found some new articles online. I’m excited to start researching graffiti again. Then I went to the gym and actually felt good about my body. I also got an interview at a clothing store that I’m really excited to work in. To top it all off, I was craving a cigarette - which doesn’t sound like a good thing, but I’ve only smoked during times when I’ve been so busy that I needed that five minute release. To me, cigarettes were a time to take myself out of a stressful situation and refocus. When I smoked, I was productive. I felt so productive today that I wanted to smoke.

Things are definitely starting to look up.

Reblogged from trexally  17 notes

Please Help!

trexally:

Hey Friends -

As many of you know, I am supposed to spend my first year out of college teaching English in China. Unfortunately, I will not be going anymore because the program I am with has not upheld their promises to me. They have refused to answer my e-mails and phone calls on multiple occasions, placed me in a city where there is no one else from the program (something I was told would not occur), breached the contract I have with them, and have refuse to put important changes to our contract in writing. Currently, the only way I am able to get any sort of response from the Ameson Foundation is to show up to their office in DC unannounced and demand to speak to someone. I do not trust the Ameson Foundation to help me if there is an emergency while I am China, thus I feel it is in my best interest to not pursue the program.

Unfortunately, just leaving the program isn’t a possibility. I have spent over $900 in airfare tickets. I believe that due to the breaches in contract that I am entitled to get my airfare money returned to me by the Ameson Foundation. To do this, I am starting a media frenzy. If you have a twitter account, please follow me at https://twitter.com/TRexAlly and retweet my tweets that have the hashtag #amesonsucks, and respond to my tweets using the same hashtag. The more publicity that comes out of this, the better, because not only do I believe I am entitled to get back my money, I also do not want anyone else I know to go through the same problems I have faced. Any help is greatly appreciated!

Please Help!

Hey Friends -

As many of you know, I am supposed to spend my first year out of college teaching English in China. Unfortunately, I will not be going anymore because the program I am with has not upheld their promises to me. They have refused to answer my e-mails and phone calls on multiple occasions, placed me in a city where there is no one else from the program (something I was told would not occur), breached the contract I have with them, and have refuse to put important changes to our contract in writing. Currently, the only way I am able to get any sort of response from the Ameson Foundation is to show up to their office in DC unannounced and demand to speak to someone. I do not trust the Ameson Foundation to help me if there is an emergency while I am China, thus I feel it is in my best interest to not pursue the program.

Unfortunately, just leaving the program isn’t a possibility. I have spent over $900 in airfare tickets. I believe that due to the breaches in contract that I am entitled to get my airfare money returned to me by the Ameson Foundation. To do this, I am starting a media frenzy. If you have a twitter account, please follow me at https://twitter.com/TRexAlly and retweet my tweets that have the hashtag #amesonsucks, and respond to my tweets using the same hashtag. The more publicity that comes out of this, the better, because not only do I believe I am entitled to get back my money, I also do not want anyone else I know to go through the same problems I have faced. Any help is greatly appreciated!