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Tomorrow, I’m going home. My junior year has officially ended. While I am excited for what Summer 2012 holds, I am terrified. I have one more year with my best friends. One more year to be reliant on my parents. One more year before it is time for me to go off into the real world, earn money, pay for my graduate school, and become a grown woman.

I’m scared. I don’t want to lose the people I have - both at home and at school. I don’t want to be all by myself in a new city. I know I’ll be fine. I know that I will make new friends, and I will have a successful career. I know that I will make an impact on the field of anthropology, and I hope one day my name is what is written down in the textbooks. But I’m afraid to do this on my own. I’ve built up such a wonderful support system. I don’t even think my friends realize how big of a support they’ve been, but they have helped me survive.

It’s almost 2 am where I am, and I’m sitting on my floor, packing up a suitcase and contemplating if I will have room in the car for a third one. I have too many things. I’m afraid to go to sleep, because when I wake I will be going home to 2, possibly 3 jobs this summer. And then summer will fly by and before I know it, it will be August and I will be moving back to school. I almost just called school home. Funny, isn’t it, how attached we get to certain places. Before I know it, I will be leaving home and applying to graduate schools, going back down to Belize to get more archaeology experience, and then I’ll be off - hopefully to Arizona or New Orleans or someplace different. Then who knows what the future will hold for me.

For now, I’ll guess all I can do is keep packing. Maybe I’ll pop in another episode of Game of Thrones, and hopefully I wont wake my roommate. I’ll stay up super late, then pass out for a couple of hours before my Dad comes in the morning. Then it will be back home.

Well… It’s 12:40 AM on Saturday, December 10th

Good things about Today

Friday marked 3 weeks of being caffeine free. And honestly, I don’t miss it. Not a bit. Not a one.

I am officially done with physics. forever. thank god.

I switched out of vertebrate embryology and into social statistics for next semester. I’m finally getting a break from biology for a bit!

THE BABY POOCHIE WILL BE ARRIVING AT THE AIRPORT AT APPROXIMATELY 2:24 PM TODAY! ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh!

I am home in 4 days!

I leave for Belize in 15 days!

I haven’t been on facebook in about 3 days, and I don’t really miss it.

Bad things about today

I have spent approximately 10 hours thus far studying for immunology.

My immunology exam is at 8 AM, and I still need to teach myself 3 chapters

Angelina from Jersey Shore’s song just came up on my iTunes shuffle. It’s really bad. For example, some lyrics are, “I’m hot. So hot. I’m like an ice cream cone with a cherry on top.”

I wont get to see my puppy until Wednesday afternoon.

After my immunology exam, I have to work 12:00-4:00.

I’m le tired

Overall, I’m proud of how much I’ve done today. But goddamn, immunology needs to stop so I can enjoy life.

Reblogged from inhabitude  43 notes

We won’t be prepared to die until we have truly lived. For some paradoxical reason, people who have experienced life intensely and fully are the ones who are most able to let go of it. They seem to die with the same passion with which they lived. Those who most fear death are those who have not yet begun to live. Those who have lived a full life have learned already how to include death; death is not a stranger.

People with unlived lives unconsciously know that true insight and vitality have somehow eluded them, leaving them without a center or even a sense of why they were ever born. Their real self —soul—has not been awakened and so they lack a deep sense of themselves, or any eternal purpose. Having not yet begun to live, they can’t imagine dying. It is still foreign territory, a destination preceded by no journey toward it. Anxiety haunts their nights and days, searching in outer places for what they can only find within.

By Richard Rohr (via wordslessspoken)